Recipe for Making One’s Mama Feel Crazy

by Scarlett and Ivy

prep: when your mother tells you you may play with water in the bath and not on the sheepskin covering the couch in the livingroom, go into the bathroom and start running a “bath.”

remain quiet, as well as cheerful and kind to your sister so as to reassure your mama that she is not needed.

when bathtub has 5 inches of warm water in it, turn water off.

add the following ingredients to the water:

• entire 16 ounce bottle of organic rose hydrosol (smells good already)
• all the toothbrushes and flossers you can find
• one roll of toilet paper, shredded (thoughtfully replace roll on holder with new tp)
• container of hair ties and barrettes
• finger scoops of homemade organic willow salve
• all the bath toys
• squirts of mama’s favorite lotions
• pieces of paper out of the recycling bin
• travel size bottles of shampoo and conditioner
• lavender handsoap (smelling heavenly now)
• finger scoops of homemade organic calendula salve
• full dispenser of cotton swabs
• some cedar bark from the front porch (it’s raining so don’t worry about getting greens and dirt from the garden. maybe next time…)

stir with utensils from the kitchen (rubber and metal spatulas) and hair brushes.

when little sister starts loudly complaining about something, close door and reassure mama that she is fine. quickly console her. be amazed that mama buys it and stays out of the bathroom.

feel proud at the rainbow of emotions that cross mama’s face when she takes in what you have been up to. horrified at the mess. ridiculously disappointed in her 2- and 5-year-olds’ lack of discernment regarding expense. nostalgic for the potions she made as a child with her sister. resigned to the role of cleaner-upper (and cheerleader for her cleaner-upper assistants.) and ultimately, proud of the dominant maker spirit of the household.